Anticlimatic climaxes and other innuendo

The Girl’s boyfriend apparently “broke up” with her and our game got turned into a social get-together. We talked a bit, but really only got to two things; There was a general desire to play and that people have no taste. I brought up the option of other games. I listed everything in my dropbox, everything I could name off the top of my head and some from 1d4chan. I like to claim it was at least 20 games. There was conflict though; someone doesn’t want modern, someone doesn’t want scifi, someone doesn’t want maids (you know who doesn’t want maids? Faggots, that’s who,) but somehow, NO-ONE OBJECTS TO CLICHE FANTASY. (Guess who does.) (I do.)

We left on an undecided note, but I pushed for a conclusion at least to the goddamn “rogue looking for sibling” arc. How fast can the DM wrap it up? “One session tops.” Makes you rage when you realize the apparent “sidequest” took about 4 games and counting. We then met at the GM’s house a week later (a surprisingly clean flat in a surprisingly clean neighborhood, sans his room which looked like mine if I don’t expect guests) we got treated to some booze, so that was OK. The game itself felt like the average “you didn’t pick the DM’s obvious choice of action so you’re lost” scenario.

We left the village we spent so much time in, just like that, got to the city where we were supposed to find this sibling of hers. The absence of descriptions in this game was mind-boggling. If something didn’t get described with the exact adjective that was in it’s very name, we got treated to a joke. “The shady tavern, do-ho-ho.” (I don’t know if I want to ever laugh again.)

And we follow a group of bandits. We get confronted with a problem; not getting spotted. We solve that by dividing and leaving chalk marks. We enter woods, we kinda get through the night. Then the thieves saddle up. What the fuck. Am I supposed to carry the halfling now? “Naw, that wouldn’t work”

See, protip; if a sarcastic over-the-top remark is our best option AND not a successful solution, then you’re probably doing it wrong. Seriously, we jumped through two hoops, I was pretty content with that, but then we get punched in the dick and all is turned to nil? What was the point of the other two things then? Following them is impossible, so we return with empty hands to the shady tavern again. We give coins to the tavernkeep, because that’s how things work, you give coins to the NPC so the quest status is updated OH NO 4e IS TEH VIDYAGAEM

Sorry. Lost my train of thought there. Point is, we get directed to some house or other, owned by either the local fantasy FBI equivalent or the bandits working for the rogues sibling, I’m really not sure. We enter through the back door, no one seems to be home. We search the building, it’s set up to look like a townhouse, but as we’re pretty directly told, it’s a front, books are fake, no photos. The basement is the obligatory dungeon, albeit a simple one. I was kinda confused about the mapping; we got presented to some simple maps of both ground level and the basement, but well made. It felt like the tiny diagrams took more prep time than what I assume would’ve otherwise been the plot.

Anyway, we explore a single corridor with a single turn that leads to a torture chamber. It’s empty. On the sides, there’s empty cells, on the corner, there’s a bear in a cell. I don’t even ‘wat’ at this point. The single one thing of any relevance in the last hour of gaming time is a guy in his cell.

He’s jackin’ it. Not even surprised.

I try exchanging a few words, but this person apparently after a week or more of imprisonment and little to no food, still has the nerve to sass me. I lose my shit, the rogue tries talking. About 3 sentences of RP get exchanged, before the magical trigger sentence gets spoken. At that point we broke off, about an hour or 90 minutes into the evening.

We really didn’t do anything, we went somewhere, failed a chase, explored an empty building.

Really, only one line of game. Felt bad. Also, the way the game seemed to be set up to “trigger sentences” felt like one newbie game I once ran. I think the man has to learn that player ideas that don’t perfectly fit into a GM’s pre-game scenario aren’t supposed to be instantly thrown away.

Duh bluh. That’s that terrible story. A lame end to a lame story. In a way, an anticlimax was the perfect end for an anti-story.


~ by fatrpgdongs on 19/04/2010.

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